Literature Unlocked

Here you are, approaching the end of your Master’s, or perhaps you’re a particularly ambitious undergrad. The winter exams are over, you’re moving towards Easter deadlines and the horizon of your current degree is rushing towards you with increasing speed. Now you’re starting to look around you and wonder:

Should you do a PhD?

And the answer is – No.

I jest, of course.

Nevertheless, I simply cannot express to you how difficult a PhD is. It is an emotional, financial and intellectual apocalypse. Your personal relationships will be tested. Friendships with your peers are not guaranteed, and the largest portion of your feedback will be negative (and often expressed in the bluntest terms). You will exist in a pervasive miasma of dread that you are Doing Something Wrong. You won’t know what, but the feeling will loom over you, making your heart pound in your throat every time you receive an email. You will never, ever, feel good enough, and you will always think that there is a perfect sequence of events that will unlock your future career if you can just crack the code and find the first move.

You won’t. Because there isn’t a perfect sequence of events. Because the academic job market is a nightmare and your success will rely as much on good luck/good timing/good connections as on your academic achievements.

I’m sorry. I wish I had better news for you. But you asked if you should, and the answer is – ‘no.’

…Now, this post has probably divided my readers into roughly two categories: the fearful and the ‘f-ck you’.

On the one hand, there are the folks I have just put the fear of God into. The ones who are filled with horror at what I have described, because surely no achievement, degree or experience could be worth so much pain? Perhaps you don’t have any concrete thoughts about your research, but you’re attracted to the idea of staying in university for another four years anyway. Surely a PhD is easier than entering the job market?

The PhD is not for you, friends. And that’s great, you can do amazing things with your BA and your MA. Your degree (at whatever level) is a massive, wonderful achievement and you should be so proud of yourself and excited by your future. Go forth and have many joyful adventures! It’s OK not to go for a PhD. There’s no pressure. Be free.

Then, there are the folks on the other hand. The ones reading this and thinking: ‘f-ck you.’ You’re the people who have read this blog and thought “pfft, it can’t be that bad. I’m smart. I’m determined. I’m ambitious. I love it too damn much.” Chances are, you have the thread of a fresh piece of research between your fingers and you won’t be able to rest until you pull on it and discover what it unravels. You need to know.

Or perhaps, you – like me – know you won’t die happy unless you do your PhD. Because friends, I received those warnings. The academics who taught me gently tried to warn me that it’s hard. That there are no guarantees. And I – cocky as Icarus – didn’t think those warnings could possibly apply to me.

Because I was too smart. Too ambitious. It couldn’t be that bad and I loved it too damn much. I flipped the bird to the warnings and ran full tilt towards my doctorate.

And smacked face-first into Reality. Because – shock! – I did my PhD, and discovered it was so much harder than I expected. My friends doing their PhDs have experienced similar personal apocalypses, so I know it’s not just me.

And, to give you a moment of realism: the job market is a nightmare. Hiring panels have deeply unrealistic expectations about what a recent postdoc can bring to the table. Additionally, UK universities are currently cutting thousands of jobs, many of which are within the Arts and Humanities. So I, a reasonably accomplished postdoctoral candidate but still an early career researcher with limited experience, am applying for jobs alongside seasoned academics. Academics who have years of experience, a publication list as long as a library shelf and thousands of hours of teaching experience.

I feel like a house cat competing against tigers.

And still, my folks on the other hand, I bet you’re reading this and, though you may feel a tremble of trepidation, your determination is unwavering. You’re flipping me the bird right now, I can sense it.

Because you have to know. Because otherwise you will lie on your deathbed gnashing your teeth and eating your heart out over the path unfollowed.

Should you do a PhD?

Absolutely.

Because nobody could stop you anyway.

And that’s precisely the kind of bloody-minded determination you will need to get through your doctorate.

There are benefits to a PhD! I have made friends I never would have met otherwise, I have had fascinating conversations over cocktails and coffee. I’ve presented my research at international conferences and seen my name published in books. I unravelled the thread and found out not only where it went, but that it changed the game of Gothic scholarship.

Will I be lying on my deathbed and regretting my PhD? Absolutely not. It tested me to the point of breaking, but I still wouldn’t go back in time and give it up.

Just – make sure you’re prepared. Ask for help when you need it, warn your family that it will affect them, too. Keep your hobbies – or find some – that have nothing to do with your brain. Preferably, that take you out of the house and get you talking to people outside the Ivory Tower.

You’ll be ok, and I can’t wait to read your research. Maybe we’ll meet at a conference someday.

In the meantime, if you need any extra support, have a look at my literary services. There might be something there that will help!